so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize