i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
