Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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