She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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