Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Did you pee in the oven last night??
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
