How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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