she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
