It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize