how hairy? two words: wookie tits
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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