whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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