Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
