My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
