Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
