after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize