I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
