Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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