I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize