I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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