i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
