Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
