you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
