If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
