Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
too bad you live with your parents still
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
