There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
