Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
