Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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