im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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