Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
