my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
