I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
