They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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