Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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