I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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