I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Randomize
