Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Randomize
