You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
