I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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