when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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