Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
