I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
