Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
