Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
