I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
