i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
