Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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