...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
