Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize