i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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