let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
