I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
