The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
