i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
