the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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