where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am midnight drunk by noon
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
