She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Vodka?
Forever.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
