You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
