Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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