oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
