I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
