we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
