I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
so let's talk penis.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
