the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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