you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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