Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
