The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
