hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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